frankie boyle live

Some choice picks:

"Does anyone else think that Camilla is almost exactly what Diana would have looked like if she'd survived the crash?"

"People think the Middle East is a very complex question. I've got an analogy that sums it up quite well. If you imagine that Palestine is a big cake. One big cake. Well that cake is being punched to pieces by a very angry Jew"

"Now you got a Scottish guy as the number one British tennis player. I've not checked my Nostradamus, but isn't that one of the harbingers of the apocalypse?"

"There's a fallacy isn't there that that baggage handler prevented hundreds of people from being horribly burned. These were Scottish people who were flying to Spain"

"They say the Olympics is going to re-kindle English national pride. I mean come on, for 9.2 billion, you could have written "Fuck off Germany" onto the moon"

"We've got some old fuckers in tonight. Sign that it's been a mild winter by the look of some of these faces"

"Wayne Rooney, he gets paid a ridiculous amount of money. He'd be happy with a tyre on a rope. How old is he, 23? They don't usually live that long"

"Sex education at my school was a muttered warning about the janitor"

"And this is your lady? She looks like she could rip you apart like a fucking chicken wing. Does he touch the sides?"

"Everybody seems to forget that 'political correctness' itself used to be called 'spastic gay talk'"

"Don't send your children's toys to Africa. Can you imagine how depressing it must be to receive a Tamagotchi that's going to outlive you?"

(pinch)

most important invention

I got it.

A pointy stick.

> Lends itself to hunting
=> Lends itself to warmth from fur
=> Lends itself to red meat consumption, protein and brain development
==> Lends itself to intelligence from developing brain
===> Lends itself to creating fire, wheels, spear heads for pointy sticks
===> Lends itself to rudimentary tool use
====> Lends itself to building intricate objects, like printing presses
====> Lends itself to construction, electricity, architecture and decreases reliance on nomadic movement
=====> Lends itself to the creation of towns, cities and civilisations
======> Lends itself to print media, governance and celebrity
=======> Lends itself to internet



> Lends itself to internet people who can't grasp the use of a pointy stick

(Taken from here)

passsing thoughts on a handful of shitty reality tv shows

Wipeout rewards douchebaggery. I don't hate the show as much as I hate the producers, who quite plainly told the contestants to make their performances the outlandish way they are otherwise they will not be televised.

It's like "Don't Forget The Lyrics", the contestants know they have to put on a show for the camera otherwise it will not go to air and they won't get their prizes. Having that in the back of someones mind is why people do inexplicable shit. Like go on "Moment of Truth"...